• Dark says:

    There are many troubling things about this incident and one of them was that this man was at work when he decided to party with popper alone in his rubber suit in the toilets. While “odd” may be an offensive term to some, I would label this man completely irresponsible as we was totally ignoring the fact that he was at work. YIKES.

    Itt’s bad enough when someone succumbs in fetish when they are “on their own time” recreating doing extreme, edgy and dangerous play, but what would be the word to describe this man’s behavior which would be less offensive?

    This jerk, by his irresponsible behavior HAS put fuel on the fire of painting all rubberists and “odd” and irresponsible and unable to make sound decisions, separate fatnasy and reality and so forth.

    It’s very tragic and very unfortunate for the “responsible” pervs when people like this set back the struggle for tolerance years.

  • Admittedly choosing to do drugs at the workplace was a serious lack of judgment, but we don’t know if the unfortunate deceased was playing on his employer’s time, or maybe during his lunch break. Most men I know, when asked, admit to masturbating in the mens room during work, so taking a bathroom break isn’t odd or uncommon. Dying while in the act, though, can’t be very much fun for anyone who’s left behind.

    But yes, drugs and solo play are never advisable.

  • Dark says:

    Most men you know masturbate in the bathroom at work? Wow, This is news to me and I have been visiting men’s rooms at work for decades and saw no evidence of it and never have myself.

  • MFB says:

    Seems you probably lead a very sheltered life, then or don’t discuss such things with others. A recent survey in the UK, for example, discovered that a full third of all workers in the UK have viewed pornography while at work.

  • Dark says:

    Viewing pornography by 1/3 of UK men does not equate to most me wanking off at work.

    I don’t think my life has been “sheltered” but I am not sure what that actually means.

    However, you are correct in that I don’t discuss sexual activities with fiends, or colleagues. I have had many such conversation with with all my lovers, and that includes a fair number of women. So I don’t really know what men are doing except what I read, in articles, see on TV presentations or on the WWW.

    I would never even fly by a fetish site on a PC computer I work with in an office. I know that many if not most managers have the means to see what is on your monitor secretively and DO check on employees because they DO suspect they are not working all the time.

    I have been in several office environments where I could see the monitors of several female employees if I went to WC or left the office and virtually all of them have done online “shopping” or browsing for clothes while at work. I could care less, but this is what I observed.

    My own beaks from work in other offices will see me visit news, political blogs etc. but never porn or fetish sites. When I work from home I will visit fetish sites during the day.

    I suppose when you work in the fetish or entertainment or “sex” industry you might have a skewed view of how people spend their time. I working a completely unrelated industry.

  • Then you are living in a bubble.

    I particularly like your constant references to my so-called career among pornographers and sex workers–as if you happen to have my resume in hand, know my life story, or just assume that someone with an interest in creating fetish sites socializes exclusively with degenerates in some sort of sexual underground and has probably done so their entire life. More of the gross generalizations that cause an awful lot of simultaneous rolling of the eyes, if you ask me.

    But no, back to the um, subject at hand. Masturbating while at work or at school is simply not abnormal or even a rarity. I am sure that many of our readers, if they cared to do so would weigh in on the subject.

    Readers, are you up to the task of debunking yet another Darkism? Fire away!

  • First of all I am saddened by another senseless death.
    Let’s also understand that this is not exclusive to the kink community.
    A friend of mine who was a dental assistant lost her job because her boss would like to stay in after hours to drink and inhale nitrous oxide – don’t know if there was any masturbation involved – chocked on his own vomit while unconscious and died.

    Some people can only feel alive when engaging in high risk activities and hopefully they know the risks when they engage.

    That said, I will now address the tail end of this thread…

    I’ve wanked at work.
    Yes me.
    I am a woman.
    What’s more, when I used to do this most frequently I was not involved in my current industry – I am now a Dominatrix and emerging fetish visual artist.
    At the time I was the office manager for a software development company.
    That’s right.
    It was also pre-internet – yes, life existed before ISPs.

    I would go to the Ladies’ room and take care of myself when I needed a break.
    Not only is this not specific to men, it’s not even specific to people watching online porn or fetish at all.

    Just thought I’d add this in to offer up a broader scope.

    *I’ll also remind the readers and the writers that this death involved the combination of a potent drug/inhalant AND asphyxiation.

  • Gasp, I’m shocked to read of a lady, of all creatures engaging in such feelthy practices, and on her employer’s dime! ;-) More shocking is of course the revelation that you were not at the time employed as a harlot, but were in fact a respectful woman. I’m afraid this has altered my earlier perceptions of the fairer sex.

    Now, in all seriousness, thank you, Ms. Black for adding a bit of clarity and refreshing honesty to the discussion!

    Signed, MissFuzzyBunny, fellow member of the Ladies Who Have Wanked Club

  • Rachel May says:

    Wanks at work at least twice a week. ;0)

  • Observer says:

    I think the sad part in this is the media dragging this poor sap in the dirt just for kicks. It’s hard enough for his family that he’s dead as it is.

  • Dark says:

    I am not asserting that you have worked all your life in the sex and fetish industry. I don’t know your resume and I am sure you have spent a fair amount of time in vanilla work etc. But my knowledge of “you” over the past 10 years has been seeing and reading what you have written on the internet and at least in this period you have been associated with the fetish / sex industry..

    Of course there are people who engage in “sex” in public, who masturbate a work, have sex in airplanes and mens toilets and both sexes are included in this. My point is that this is not common behavior. It is rare behavior.

    Frankly I don’t care about where people have sex, as long as it doesn’t “bother” or jeopardize others. Sex in public is non consensual and while voyeurs may find it appealing not everyone is a voyeur either. Voyeurism is non consensual and unless they are peeping an exhibitionist that behavior is also troubling and an invasion of privacy.

    Each of us has a unique history of experiences. I don’t think I live in a bubble of isolation from alt cultures. I have lived in NYC almost my entire life aside from some time in Europe and the Caribbean, I have been married to an artist and spent lots of time with actors and performers and musicians in my past and lived ih the heart of Greenwich Village for 20 years and had many friends in the gay culture back then. But yes I was not working in any aspect of the “sex” industry, didn’t watch porn, nor attend Plato’s retreat.

    When fetish came out of the closet I ventured into the NYC scene, attended clubs met the movers and shakers and spent time with them socially, even had a GF who did a stint as a dominatrix. My :”resume” is as invisible as others and I choose to maintain my privacy. My personal experiences, like most of us is what informs my world view. Fetish is not my occupation, or even a high priority in my life. It’s an interest I have had since adolescence and which probably won’t go away, though it clearly is less and less important to me as I get older.

    No bubble here. Bubble there?

  • YelloBird says:

    I think it depends on your workplace.
    In office 9-5 jobs, there is just too much stress going on too relax.
    But in jobs where you have to kill time and only/mostly males, like the army, it was accepted as “normal”. We even had competitions going on during the 36hour guard duty shifts.

    And I don’t think the company/employer was too much affected, as I can’t remember any Russian invasion into NATO territory during that time ;-)

  • Heh, good thing for you there were no incursions. Can you imagine the egg that would be on your face? ;-)

    Tell me more about these competitions: were they target type contests of skill, or quantity-based competitions?

  • I do feel for the poor chap, perhaps even more so for his partner and family.

    The article refers to his browsing fetish websites in the toilet, suggesting to me that he was using a laptop rather than a PC monitor – so he may not have been on a work computer at all.

    On the subject of masturbation in the toilets at work, I’m not sure how we’d know whether this were rare or common. I’ve done it myself (and I don’t work in a sex or fetish related career) but never carried out any sort of straw poll of my friends. My partner’s done it, though. I rather liked the mention above of having seen “no evidence of it”. Why might one leave visible “evidence”?!

  • Boz says:

    To add my two cents, I’ve jerked it at work a few times and I’d guess that a decent amount of people do it as well based on con ersations I’ve had with friends.

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